Have you ever been chilling on the internet and had an obnoxiously stupid turn of phrase pop out at you and say, “Hey, look at me! I’m a horrible, horrible phrase and I’m in your face with my horribleness?” This happened to me today. It doesn’t happen often (I think the last time was either retrosexual, emo, or Twilight lover) but when it does this shit sticks with me. The thing that really pisses me off about stupid words is that once I see them they are stuck in my head forever! There is no going back, dammit.
So today I was looking at Pinterest and this thingy popped up:
Um…what the hell is a millennial? Am I an idiot for not knowing this? Because this “infographic” seems to imply that I am. (Don’t ask me how a graphic can imply anything about me, my husband asks me that question all the time and I’m tired of it. Many things, including inanimate objects, can make horrible implications about you as a person without even knowing that they’re doing it…just like my husband.)
Of course, after looking at this poster a bit, I finally realized that they are talking about the generation supposedly after my generation, and that made me even more irritated. Firstly, if I’m Generation X, why aren’t we calling them Generation Y? Well, according to Wikipedia, which also prefers to call them Generation Y, “millennial” is a phrase which the generation coined themselves. So millions of kids just spontaneously started walking around saying, "I’m a millennial?" I'm pretty sure that it was people in my parent’s generation that coined the phrase Generation X and that we had no effin' choice in the matter. I've decided to call the millennial generation, Generation Y are you such sissys? There you go sissy generation, you suck.
Secondly, my husband is considered a millennial and I’m not. How can you consider someone who was twenty at the turn of the century a millennial and not someone who was twenty-two? If you're going to use the word millennial to describe a group of people, shouldn't they be a group of people that were born around the millennium, say 1990-2010? They double suck.
Thirdly - you have to actually read the infographic for thirdly. “They prefer whole foods over processed foods. They will spend more on ethically sourced meats & farm-to-table experiences.” Farm-to-effin-table experiences? How about a my-foot-to-your-face experience? Bigoted foodie hippies are what these kids are. They are the Hitlers of gastrointestinal anything; they want to take out all impure foods and leave only the “pure” Anglo-Saxon food. That's what I'm taking away from this infographic, at any rate. What’s next Generation Sissys? Passing a law against McDonalds? Oh wait, didn't they just ban the Happy Meal in freakin' California because mothers are afraid that their millennial children won't get that farm-to-table experience? (Totally not the reason but whatever.) They triple, quadruple times a billion suck. Screw you Millennnials, I don’t like your name.