Brent Might Be Smarter Than Your Average Imbecile

Brent has recently been having a conversation with an imbecilic lunatic. Now, just for clarification, when I say “conversation,” I mean drop-kick schooling her on how the real world works, and by “imbecilic,” I mean oh-my-fucking-god this lady is brain-bleed stupid. The funniest thing about all this is that Brent is having the time of his ever-loving life trying to fix stupid. Here’s the gist of their back and forth:

Imbecilic Lunatic Lady (we’ll call her ILL from now on): I love people, and I think that in a perfect world everyone should be happy and loved! [Insert lame ass weirdo quote here]

Brent: Sorry, no such thing as a perfect world. Here are some examples of why the world isn’t perfect:

-          Idiots like yourself

-          The government

-          Tambourines

-          Body fat

-          More idiots

-          Entitlement

-          Kristen Stewart

ILL: I’m offended simply because you said body fat, and I slightly resemble that remark. Plus, I love the Partridge Family. I’m going to tell everyone that you’re a horrible, evil person who wants to sacrifice children to Kali Ma, just like they did in that Temple of Doom movie, by making them work in mines filled with Styrofoam and melancholy.

Brent:  Why are you my friend on Facebook again? You do know that I’m only here to make you look like a moron in front of a potentially huge amount of people, right?

ILL: I can’t figure out how to unfriend you, and I’m losing friends because what you’re saying actually makes sense to everyone but me. Since I seem to be the only one who doesn’t get it, I’ll just try to make you look bad by saying you’re a racist, homophobic meanie.

Brent: What if I said I was possibly wrong about Kristen Stewart? (I would just like to interject here that he is so NOT wrong about Kristen Stewart. She is the perfect example of all that is unnatural and evil in this world, and she is probably the antichrist.)

Damian + Kristen Stewart = The UberAntichrist

ILL: Oh my god, Brent! I’m so sorry if I offended you. I didn’t know that you could possibly be on the side of shiny, Adonis-like vampires. Unfriend me if you think I’m being intolerant and cruel.

I told Brent that I would’ve unfriended her the minute she said “I love people,” because who freakin' loves PEOPLE? But that just goes to show how intolerant of idiots I’ve become. Also, that Brent is so much better at putting up with this kind of crap than I am just because he has fun showing other people how horribly wrong they are.

 Do you think we live in a perfect world? Are vampires actually shiny? Should I have put a goatee on Kristen Stewart? You can always leave feedback, if you like.